July Members Meeting - Crossing Your Own Boundaries

July Members Meeting - Crossing Your Own Boundaries

Photo by Maja Willow Linden

Wednesday, July 19, 2023

7:00 - 8:30 PM eastern time - on zoom

Our format for the evening will be as follows:

We’ll begin with a brief centering, grounding meditation, and then I’ll introduce the topic. Then we’ll allow some journaling and reflection time to consider a few contemplative questions about how, when and why we cross our own boundaries. Then I’ll invite a couple of people to share their reflections, and if they are open to it, I’ll offer support or guidance. I will also invite others in the room to indicate their resonance with the story that has been shared so as to normalize the share and release shame around it. Then I'll guide us through a somatic practice of what it would feel like to uphold your own boundaries. We will close with a few shares of things that folks are taking away from the conversation.

I am looking forward to hosting this online group coaching event to support examining and healing from the pattern of crossing your own boundaries.

At my first BDSM workshop, I remember a woman raising her hand and outing herself to the group as someone who crossed her own boundaries. At the time, this seemed a little mysterious to me - I didn’t quite understand what she meant. But then, over the next couple of years, I began to notice that I also crossed my own boundaries. I said yes to experiences - both erotic and otherwise - that were not actually completely welcome. And so I started to track WHY this happens for me.

Here’s a few factors that contribute to this behavior:

  • A desire to stay in connection with another person
  • A curiosity about what will happen if I “push” myself (can I stretch into something new?)
  • Not feeling fully resourced - fatigue, hunger, stress, overwhelm
  • Trauma responses such as fawning and freezing
  • Not having clearly defined boundaries with myself, or agreements with myself
  • Workaholism - really wanting that feeling of achievement or completion

This event is a continuation of a series of monthly members gatherings. The one we had last month was about the “Inner Transgressor”. It was a discussion with my friend, Cas Smith. You can listen/watch the recording of that conversation here. Please note, it’s a very different kind of event than the one for this month.

I look forward to having you in this circle and supporting you on your journey!

Additionally, I have created a place for us to gather to have more in-depth and private discussions about this topic. Here's a link to join that discussion - it's on a platform called Discourse and the name of our "home" there is the Soul Family Village. Please post your questions and/or examples of ways that you cross your own boundaries there. I will personally respond to each post.