Towards the end of the Play Party at the Pleasure of Conscious Kink Retreat (a couple of weekends ago), I got to personally "go in" for few minutes of scene play. I designated two floor mats, about 6 x 8' of space, as my "cage" and I asked several folks to stand around the outside of the mats and act as the bars for my cage. I crawled around on the mats, and each time I approached their legs, they pushed me back into the middle of the cage and told me that I was "stuck in there". Each time they sent me back into my place in the middle, I felt more and more held and secure. The scene progressed until I was laying in the middle of my "cage" and my playmates were pressing me into the ground, whispering things into my ears that I most wanted to hear. It was deeply soothing to my entire body and soul.
The weekend after this retreat, I got to attend the Sex Down South Conference in Atlanta. This is a remarkable event organized by two Black women - Marla Stewart and Tia Marie. It features educational workshops and seminars as well as evening parties and events (like the Kink Olympics). It also has a dungeon that can be used throughout the weekend. I didn't make it into the dungeon till the last night when I found myself with some friends who were willing and eager play partners. I was looking around, feeling into what kind of a scene I would want to do, when I spied the cage (it looked something like this). And I realized that more than anywhere in that room, I wanted to be in that cage. It didn't work out for us to play in there - because it was already occupied - but this urge to be in a cage continues!
Why? Why do I wanna be in a cage? Why does that feel hot right now?
Because right now, I'm at a point of re-thinking and possibly re-creating just about every aspect of my life. My sex life is transforming (thank you, menopause), I am re-considering where I live, and how I live, and even my spirituality has morphed yet again into a new kind of practice. So the idea of being contained in a cage, where I can still move and act, but not go too far, feels really grounding and soothing to my limitless soul.
I also think this urge to be in a cage might also have something to do with my fascination with the inner transgressor and possibly my inner convict. I'd like to say that I'll share more about that, but this work is so charged for me right now, I haven't really been able to write about it yet.
My three favorite workshops from Sex Down South:
Taught by three brilliant women, all of whom mesmerized me.
- "Jesus as a Powerbottom" by Rev Alba Onofrio (Reverend Sex) This workshop was a stroke of genius. We started by talking about our personal relationships with God. Then Reverend Sex encouraged us to imagine our relationship with God as our favorite kink scene. She gave us a list of kink scenes to choose from and asked us to contemplate what power dynamics we would like to have with the Divine. I would be happy to share the workshop materials, if you'd like, so reach out to me if you're interested. As for MY relationship with God, right now, I wanna be in God's cage, and maybe suck (his?) cock through the bars. That would be divinely hot. 🔥☄️
- "How to Become a Trusted Adult" by Haylin Belay Oh my goodness, I'm in love with Haylin! She is an incredible facilitator, especially when it comes to dealing with disruptive comments and shares. I'm hoping that Body Electric hires her to teach our faculty how to create even safer spaces for participants. She's truly gifted. Haylin offered a 23% post-conference discount on her "Sex Ed for All" course, just enter SDS23 at checkout. 🔥☄️
- "The Art of Feminine Dominance" by Midori. I got to experience Midori's mastery when she did a mini-scene with my friend Lauren, who was sitting right next to me in class. Midori walked over to Lauren, conversing with her casually at first. Then she switched into Domme mode and told Lauren that she'd tie her hair to the bedpost and require Lauren to share everything that was happening in her inner world, without filtering. And she wasn't permitted to stop until Midori told her to. Sizzling hot! 🔥☄️
Please reach out if anything here sparks your interest. It was all so juicy. I feel super grateful to my dear friends Special K, Lauren and Josh and to Body Electric for helping me to get to the conference!
Come play with me next week! The online play party is complementary for premium members, women and non-binary or gender fluid folks. Here's more about it:
Also, a reminder about the October Tantra workshop with Tasneem - Earlybird rate is still in place for the rest of the month. If you're a premium member, you can have this rate up till the last minute.