What kind of relationship does he want with me?
Do they like me the same way that I like them?
Does she want me?
When it comes to negotiating relationships and connections, both new and existing, time and attention are the two fundamental currencies.
In my own life, and with my clients, I notice that we often focus on discerning the "kind" of connection that we have or that we want with another person, and what they might want with us. This can be a fruitful and clarifying line of inquiry. And it can also be maddeningly complex! So one way to simplify the inquiry is - do I want to spend time with this person? If so, how much? And do they want to spend time with me?
I like to have complete clarity around agreements with people - like why we are getting together, who is showing up in service of whom, are we romantically involved, etc. And yet, sometimes, it's actually more helpful to just let these things be mysterious and unknown because they're too complex or just not ready to be worked out quite yet.
We attract the people who most resonate with the current state of our souls. This is why, as we grow and change, the people around us also change. This is natural and normal.
So next time you find yourself making things more complex than they need to be in a relationship, just ask yourself - do I want to spend time with this person? If so, how much? And do they want to spend time with me?
And let your mind take a rest. You don't need to try and you don't need to figure it out.
Speaking of spending time together - here's a few ways that I would like to invite you to spend time with me. Also, I am still working on putting together this group coaching cohort. So if you're interested in leaning into your "tender edge" with me, around intimacy and embodiment - but have a limited budget - please message me.